im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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