Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We just shotgunned beers for America
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You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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