Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
