we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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