I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
