my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
