found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
