tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
