you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
