remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
