There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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