i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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