i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
