can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
