Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
