You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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