Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Shame - the story of my life.
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