so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
