Non-Jews are for practice
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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