i just made my gag reflex go away.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
