Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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