We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
