Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
