She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Farmville is her only friend.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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