After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
