Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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