come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
