Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
