Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So. Much. Porn.
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