Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
