Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
