considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
