First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Randomize
