the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
