She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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