i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
love makes seman taste better
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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