I puked a lego.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
