you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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