This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
