does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
