your thong is hanging out like whoa
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
