The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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