I'm really into asian looking animals
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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