i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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