with your own penis?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
