I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
