You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
