There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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