you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
