It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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