Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
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The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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