do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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