I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
