He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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