I just pynch a tree in the face
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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