I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
