And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.