Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
